Four aging, life-long friends and adversaries fend off the ordinary through the poetry of the profane. From potty humor to funeral home funnies, the Bastards don't just slaughter the sacred cow, they have sex with it first. It takes a real Bastard to laugh at another's suffering. But to laugh at the suffering of your closest friends, it takes something more. A Master Bastard.
Join the Bastards for another hunk of hot podcast action! They share safe words, pick gender transition names and discuss news stories about British masturbators, public poopers and horse fuckers. Hamtackle tops off the show with horrifying tales of Phantom Eye Syndrome and challenges the Bastards to pass judgment on the Duggar clan. Classy is as classy does.
Strap on them ear huggers and you'll hear how important the opinions of four obese, straight, white men are as the Bastards dig in deep with discussions about Caitlyn Jenner, Ellen Pao and Rachel Dolezal. They also catch up on lots of other garbage and Sir Chapsworth finally gets the closure he so desired.
Ramtang kicks it off with Tales of Borrowed Painkillers followed by a delightful shit story. Hamtackle gets all sciencey with some sort of passive audio thingy. Sir Chapsworth puts it in deep with Cavalcade of Men and Terlet is extra drunk and gives us more endings than Return of the King. Get ready to get mildly rambunctious!
Get on board the NCC-1701-DD as the Bastards beam up another out of this world episode! Terlet forces a Star Trek theme, Sir Chapsworth has a grievance for the Bastard's Court, Ramtang brings a dry, fishy treat and Hamtackle is full of rage. Listen as the pots call the kettle the N-word with some epic shaming of the obese and stupid. Don't forget the deadly wedgies, alien radio signals and sports talk! So much garbage, so little time...
It's the second half of the Bastards Episode 50 celebration! They prove their partial sanity with a psychopath test, then listen to a murderous child threaten to stab all members of her family. There is discussions about the amount of shit in hipster beards, tales of the shit spitting slasher and Ramtang tells us all about another time he... took a shit. Keeping it classy, Bastard style!!
The Bastards get extra spooky with tales of a web toed, prostitute frequenting North Dakotan, theories of hostile aliens on Mars, a beast in Hamtackle's office, limericks, corpse dildos and police brutality. Good times had by all...
An enraged Ramtang takes a recipient of his generosity to the Bastard's Court. Terlet gets all creative with a podcast pals proposal and the Para-Files podcast portion. Sir Chapsworth self deprecates, spins a tale about voyeur Sasquatch and calls Hamtackle fat in limerick form. Put the Bastards inside you.... Inside your ear-holes... or just holes...
The Bastards take the Hogwarts Express to the magical world of head transplants, public shitting and raccoon limericks. Hamtackle has us all stare into the pensieve for terrifying tales of Mormonly Obese, the Notorious P.I.G.. The Bastards tempt the Dementors with a discussion about what is worse than death. Finally, Ramtang whips out his wand and casts accio on a tale of a super hero with a Fantastic Foreskin. Yer a Bastard, Harry.
The Bastards welcome Ramtang's little brother, Sheepshank for some mature chat about mid-air bowel movements. The new Star Wars trailer is watched and George Lucas is shit talked. A Twitter request leads to the score of the 1982 fantasy movie Beastmaster blasting in the background. Terlet confuses Kamino with Genosha, limericks about cheese, Hamtackle rages and the Bastards eat crickets... Yup.....
The Bastards snack on crunchy, dried, Asian treats to the delight of the listener, Hamtackle gets taken to the Bastard's Court, Terlet whips out an audio quiz and Sir Chapsworth gets offended. All this and slide whistle serenades on this week's Master Bastard.... (It's the podcast with Classtard!)
