Master Bastard
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Four aging, life-long friends and adversaries fend off the ordinary through the poetry of the profane.  From potty humor to funeral home funnies, the Bastards don't just slaughter the sacred cow, they have sex with it first.  It takes a real Bastard to laugh at another's suffering.  But to laugh at the suffering of your closest friends, it takes something more.  A Master Bastard.

Posts tagged Sir Chapsworth
Master Bastard #223 - Fat Men, Rejoice!

Star Trek, birthmarks, painful death, grandpa compost and SPORTS SPORTS SPORTS! That’s Classtard.

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Master Bastard #222 - Bat Skin

The Bastards talk about the 10 Commandments of Office Etiquette. They chat about the Picard Star Trek show, read an article about a man who ate pasta, belligerently. While discussing a porn video game, they discover that Sir Chapsworth has never heard of hentai. They watch hentai. Classtard.

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Master Bastard #221 - Muscle House

The Bastards get real luscious. Like draped in taffeta, eating pealed grapes kind of luscious. They spoil the Chinese blockbuster, The Wandering Earth, chat about Mickey Rooney and his moist casting couch, review the 2019 Death Pool and a bunch of other garbage. If succulence was a man it would be Sir Chapsworth. Classtard.

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Master Bastard #220 - Escalating With Abandon

The Bastards try to pick which actors resemble each other. It ends up as you would expect with people getting offended. Terlet fat shames, Sir Chapsworth gurgles, Hamtackle argues and Ramtang looks like Josh Hartnett. You’re telling me that that that… that shot of Angel Batista you have there doesn’t look like he’s trying to maybe, uh, playfully grab at your crotch? Classtard.

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Master Bastard #219 - The Juke

Strap on your pleasure bag, the Bastards are back from their break and boy are the boisterous! Sports, birthday surprises, video games and Facebook fills most the conversation. Take it, rub it, lick it and stuff it. That’s Classtard…

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Master Bastard #218 - Dummy Thicc

The Bastards are handsome, strong, wise and kind. The Bastards represent love and charity. The Bastards don’t require your adoration even though they are deserving of it. Don’t let your unflinching reverence of the Bastards interfere with responsibilities.

Plop Plop.

Who’s there?


Classtard who?

It’s just Classtard. Please let me in I’m about to have a diarrhea!

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Master Bastard #217 - Rapper Talent Tournament 2019 - Part 2

It’s part 2 of the Master Bastard Rapper Talent Tournament 2019! You must be wondering “How can they pick a champion with such a crowded field of rapping talent?” Well we do, get over it. Classtard!

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Master Bastard #216 - Rapper Talent Tournament 2019 - Part I

It’s big, it’s bad and it’s back!! March Madness mean it’s time for talent! Musical talent! It’s time once again for the Master Bastard Rapper Talent Tournament 2019! Open wide for steaming spoonfuls of white men critiquing absurd, popular and/or terrible rap. Viva Classtard!

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Master Bastard #215 - I Think I'm Satisfied

Oh, them Bastards… Donatello Dona-tells us all about guns and ammo. There is a ton of really bad, old music. We consult the stars and review Ramtang’s horoscope. Celebrities are slandered and future movies are discussed. All this and generous amounts of general insensitivity. Classtard.

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Master Bastard #214 - Trucker Babes

Donatello is back with tales of wonder from around the world! There is also sandwich rats, German pizza, video games, Horny For Horner and jingles, jingles galore!

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