Dilly Tinkle Dum was a Fairy.  A wonderfully plump and happy Fairy.  Dilly Tinkle Dum had a happy life with his happy little Fairy family.  Everything was simply wonderful in Dilly Tinkle Dum’s life until he made a silly mistake.

One day Dilly Tinkle Dum finished work early at Wispy Puffs Tickle Factory.  Dilly Tickle Dum was great at making tickles.  His manager, Papa Grumblehuff was so proud of Dilly’s work, that he took him to Madame Toadstool’s Drink Garden and treated him to several large thimbles full of flower water.  Dilly Tinkle Dum does not drink flower water very often, so he was no used to its silly, intoxicating affects.  

After several hours of laughing with Papa Grumblehuff, Dilly Tinkle Dum climbed onto the back of his adorable field mouse and started to make the journey home.  Dilly knew he had to drive carefully, that flower water was making his head silly and fuzzy.  Dilly was only 2 flower patches away from his house when something terrible happened.

Dilly Tinkle Dum, his head swimming with flower water, fell asleep while riding his adorable field mouse.  The adorable field mouse, with nobody to steer it, drifted off the well used mouse trail and right into Granny Sweetcandy’s preschool playground.  

The playground has a fence made of sturdy twigs to keep the pedo-goblins from accessing the cutey pie Fairy kids.  The fence would be the Fairy kids undoing that day.  Dilly Tinkle Dum’s adorable field mouse, traveling at a dangerous speed, busted through the playground gate, collapsing it at the peak of recess.  

The tiny, fleeing Fairies were no match for the uncontrolled girth of the adorable field mouse.  Tiny angelic Fairy child after tiny angelic Fairy was ruthlessly trampled by the out of control adorable field mouse.  Fairy children rushed to the walls, fruitlessly tried to scramble up their protective fence to safety.  The ricocheting adorable field mouse bounced from wall to wall, mashing the tiny Fairies into a sweet scented, pink, sparkly paste.  At some point during the carnage, Dilly Tinkle Dum was ejected from his furry conveyance.  With his unconscious foot no longer pushing the adorable field mouse forward, it slowly coasted to a fuzzy, adorable stop.

Dilly Tinkle Dum awoke to the sounds of panic screams and inconsolable crying.  Every Fairy child from across the enchanted kingdom attended Granny Sweetcandy’s school.  The loss of life was staggering. 

Fairy parents were only capable of gathering enough magic to make in their lifetimes to make one Fairy baby each.  With all the Fairy children crushed or maimed, the Fairy population became extinct within three generations.  Drinking and driving is the reason that magic has faded from our realm.  If you drink and drive, you fucking hate magic.

Cannibal Holocaust is an italian horror film directed by Ruggero Deodato that was the center of much controversy when it was released in 1980 due to it's horrifically graphic portrayal of tribal violence and sexual torture. This is one of the first films to use the "found footage" concept to add realism, and is clearly had influence on later work like The Blair Witch Project. Apparently many thought the effects to be so realistic that they believed the film to be an actual documentary, which makes no sense as it is full of shitty acting and is clearly fictional. But this did not quell the controversy, and the film was widely banned amidst rumors that some of the actors were actually murdered on film to add to it's authenticity, and the film's producer was arrested on obscenity charges.

The plot centers around a group of American filmmakers that descend into the jungles of the amazon in search of indigenous tribal people that have been segregated from modern society. They predictably don't return, and an adventurous anthropologist takes up the task of hunting them down to determine their fate. Aided by a group of paramilitary guerrillas, the doctor is led into the heart of the jungle where he witnesses savage acts being performed by the cannibals.

They first discover a female being raped with huge wooden dildo before having her vagina packed with mud and bludgeoned to death. The jungle guides explain this is "an adultery punishment ritual", which seems pretty unlikely. Another dead giveaway to the fictional nature of this film is the absence of armpit hair and the well-manicured pubic hair of the "native" women, but then again morons never let logic get in the way of a good urban legend.

As the group encounters the tribal population they dazzle them with such modern technology as switchblade knives, guns, and music from a cassette player, and are pressured to join them in feasting on the liver of a long decomposed human corpse. They are able to get in the good graces of the natives and manage to recover the film record of the lost documentarians and return to modern society where they review the footage.

The lost footage shows routine horseplay as well as a gruesome scene of the group dismembering and eating a giant live turtle. As with all of these shock horror movies from the '70s and '80s the killing of live animals (including a later scene of a monkey being decapitated) is always the most disturbing aspect of the gore, and could never be done today without widespread outrage.

Things turn south for the group after their guide is bitten by a poisonous snake, prompting the group to hastily amputate his leg, killing him. When the group first encounters the tribal people, they shoot one of them in an attempt to slow him down and follow him to the larger population, setting off a chain of events that seals their fates. The dark side of the documentarians is revealed, and they strangely decide to kill as many of the natives as possible by lighting their huts on fire. Why they do this is never quite explained, and makes no sense since they continue filming it and apparently still plan on releasing this film on their return.

The doctor that retrieved the film becomes distraught when watching it, and becomes reluctant to release the footage publicly due to the atrocities being committed, and worries that the natives will be judged harshly for their cannibalism despite being provoked to violence by the ignorant outsiders. In an effort to convince his employers to never release the film, he shows them the worst footage in which the group captures and takes turn raping a young tribal girl, then impaling her on a huge wooden pole. In another ridiculous moment, the group pretends the woman was killed by her fellow tribespeople despite having just filmed themselves raping her.

At this time the tribe descends on them, killing their cameraman with a spear and cutting off his genitals. For some inexplicable reason the survivors decide to stick around and film as he is dismembered and eaten, and somehow are not discovered just feet away in the bushes. When they try to flee the female is captured and raped (of course the cameraman again decides to remain behind to film it), and they are all beaten to death and eaten. The doctor is successful in convincing his employers to never release the footage, and the film ends with him lamenting "I wonder who the REAL cannibals are..." How poetic.

I must say that this film was comically bad. The producers ignore countless continuity errors, the acting is some of the worst I have ever seen (especially the female documentarian, who seems incapable of delivering her lines without retarded facial contortions), and they try to deny their own blatant racism in the depiction of the natives by revealing at the end that they were provoked to violence by the inhumanity of the western invaders. The real inhumanity displayed here is by the producers themselves, as they kill about a half dozen live animals (a small rodent, a pig, snake, turtle and a monkey) simply for shock value. At least most of the other films I have reviewed were good for a laugh, I spent most of the time while viewing Cannibal Holocaust just waiting for it to be over. It seems like the whole thing was just an excuse to show simulated rape. If that kind of thing is your bag, then go for it. Personally, I deleted this from my hard drive immediately after watching it, not out of shock, but out of disinterest.

Holy shit!  I got these kick-ass Shrinky Dink printer sheets so I could make some refrigerator magnets of my favorite actor,

Hugh Laurie

, to commemorate the end of the House MD television series, and I stumbled on a very strange phenomenon....

Here we see the original promotional photo of the cast of the show.  Note the normal proportions of House compared to the rest of the cast.  All I did was print the pic onto one of the sheets and pop it into the preheated oven.

But after shrinking the sheet he has transformed into beloved little person character actor Peter Dinklage!  There must be some kind of cosmic link between the two actors.  I guess they do kind of look alike, too.

Lets try another image.  Here is Laurie in another one of his iconic roles, as the Prince Regent in the british television series Blackadder.  I hope this one comes out okay...

What the fuck!  It did it again!  This doesn't make any sense.  The wig isn't even on correctly! I think I might be going crazy or something.

Alright, one more try.  I love this pic of Hugh Laurie tipping his bowler hat.  He is so dreamy!  I'm gonna use this magnet to hold up my kid's shitty artwork and add a little class to the kitchen.

For the love of all that is good and holy!  How the hell did it change to a shirtless shot of a drunken Peter Dinklage?  I am at a loss for words.  I must give a name to this strange paranormal phenomenon...  I will call it the Shrinky Dinklage Effect!

Welcome, one and all to Extreme Close-Up!  We take a look at common things in an uncommon way.  The Extreme Close-Up way!  I wonder what there is to see today.  Let's Zoom In!

First up is .... Well this isn't very close up. Those look like delicious Maryland Blue Crabs.  Hmmmm...  I wonder what we have zoomed in on?  A fisherman's boat?  A rocky ocean reef?  A Fishmonger's stall?  Let's Zoom Out!

Oh I get it!  Kim Kardashian.  Is anyone really surprised?

Next we have.....  Well this doesn't look very close-up either.  I thought this was supposed to be Extreme Close-Up.  It looks like somebody spilled some fondue and is enjoying cleaning it up.  What microcosm is this?!  Let's Zoom Out!

 Ha! Germany...  On that scale, I suppose it is an Extreme Close-Up.  I guess Germans really love their chocolate or something.

 What have we here?  A microscopic snapshot from a laboratory?  Are these little fellas making the epic journey down the birth canal?  Could it be a close-up of any Holiday Inn bedsheets?  Let's Zoom Out!

That is not really a gay joke, more a fact joke.  Allegedly!!

Allegedly!

Wasn't that fun!  Keep your eyes peeled for the next edition of Extreme Close-Up!

Hello, fellow tea baggers! Willard "Teabag" Chinsley here with another timely installment of ill-informed conservative blabber. I felt like it was time to get another issue of Bible Belt Babble out now that there have been some major developments in the political world, so tonight we discuss birtherism, the failed Wisconsin recall, and examine the sex appeal of the GOP.

There has been a lot of discussion in the media about the highly suspect birth origin of "president" Barack Obama recently, and I for one am thrilled to see that the birtherism movement is still going strong after all these years. Any impartial observer can understand that the argument for the Hawaii hospital coverup is very strong if it still persists after being dismissed by every educated person in the country. If all the evidence contradicts a theory but people still believe it is true, there must be something to it. So we all need to thank Mr. Donald Trump for keeping doubt alive in the face of public and private ridicule. We all know that a person's intelligence is directly proportional to their wealth, and that makes Tump one of the most intelligent people to grace television today. So before you disregard all the overwhelming speculative evidence that supports birtherism, just keep this in mind: Albert Einstein is widely considered to be the smartest person in modern history, and he had really wacky hair. Who else has really wacky hair? That's right, Mr. Donald Trump.

All of us conservatives have something to cheer about besides the horrible jobs reports and complete lack of activity in congress, and that is the recent failed Wisconsin recall of governor Scott Walker. As we already established above, money is basically the same thing as intelligence, and that makes Scott Walker over 8 times as smart as Milwaukee mayor Tom Barrett. The libiots in the democratic party were quick to point out that over 65% of the money raised to support Walker came from out of state donors, and that Walker is the only governor in the country to have a criminal defense fund, but that doesn't mean anything. If the people that elected you don't support your agenda then what other option do you have than to seek donors from out of state? And sometimes you just need to lawyer up to protect yourself until you manage to change the laws in your state to make what you did legal. At any rate, it will be interesting to see what Walker does next to Wisconsin. I personally love it when politics are unpredictable, and since Walker has completely abandoned his campaign platform of creating jobs there is no governor in the US that is more unpredictable than he is.

This pic gives me a Boehner

There is a horrible injustice being done in the media today that refuses to recognize the powerful sex appeal of the men that lead the republican party. The are all too eager to complain about political obstructionism, the focus on social policies despite campaigning on economic issues, and the counter-intuitive assertion that giving rich people more money actually makes the middle class wealthier, but they completely ignore the incredible sex appeal of the GOP elite. Just look at Mitch McConnell the minority leader in the senate. He has the gorgeous, beady eyes of a kindly cobbler mixed with a complete lack of mouth movement when speaking that makes the ladies weak in the knees. And what gal wouldn't want to be pressed into the mattress under the girth of 400lb teddy bear Chris Christie of New Jersey? Only lesbians, that's who. And if you could take pieces of various republican leaders to make the perfect man you could do no better than using Haley Barbour's southern drawl, Christie's physique, Rand Paul's curly hair, and John Boehner's gorgeous amber skin tone. I guess I will have to end it here, since our female readers have no doubt passed out from orgasmic bliss at the thought of such a sexual frankenstein.

This will be my first attempt to produce content within the highly esteemed Popular Irony Blog. I feel it is my duty to point out that Hamtackle and Terlet are two of my closest friends and I hate them as much as I love them. I am also obligated to point out that my specialty will involve workplace situations, scientific studies, sports, and sexual encounters. I am no good at visuals/art/fuck Terlet (for being so good at them), and will rarely include visual aides. And I will never talk politics or chain sawing heads off; I’ll leave that to our venerated Hamtackle. He is also a master of the written language and I cannot hope to compete with his take on the world. I hope you enjoy.

Your first duty as a professional is to establish a strong first impression with your coworkers. I have found that the more preposterous or ridiculous it is the better. I must also point out that many of these situations involve both sexes, as to lend to the credibility of the actual results. The following are examples of some such exchanges that may help break the ice. Use at your own risk.

“The Disturber”

I have applied this technique with all types of coworker from dishwashers to general managers. It involves the placement of your entire hand at the base of the leg at the Achilles tendon. You forcefully wrap your hand around the base of the leg and slowly and gently caress your way up the calf terminating at the end of the hamstring or the base of the buttock. You can take it much further if need be. The goal of this exercise is to leave the coworker effectively “disturbed.” The typical reaction is usually of a “oh my god” or “what the fuck are you doing to my leg” temperament. One attractive young woman actually took my hand and placed it upon her breast and we commenced kissing, which turned into coitus later that evening. She turned out to be my future ex-fiancé so I highly recommend caution when using this technique.

“The Violator”

            This technique is much more subtle and if pulled off properly will leave the most of an enduring impression. It is pulled off as follows; make sure you are looking your coworker dead in the eye and slowly take your hand palm face up and apply your four digits less you thumb to the bottom of their stomach. Slowly and very measurably, but not too deliberate as they will almost certainly pull away or throw a punch, caress your digits upwards all while staring them in the eye. This will make for a most discomfited finish when they are either staring at you with menace or desire. The characteristic response for this is usually urgent withdrawal because they consider the idea you may be going for their genitals. It is best to coax them into a false sense of security and then proceed with the prescribed procedure.

“The Lingerer”

            The lingerer is my preferred method because it has a real staying power for and with the individual it is performed on. It is essentially a more rough and desperate version of The Disturber. You forcefully grab the Achilles and effectively rape their leg the entire way up and across the buttocks and then back down the other leg in a horseshoe fashion terminating at the other Achilles. The effect is a “lingering discomfort” for the individual. This technique is to be used with the utmost discretion and care as it may and will eventually get you fired. Several cases where this method has been applied resulted in laughter and grandiose praise from the recipient. Let me point out that this man would also try to figure out ways to get me to look at his “Jacob’s Ladder” piercing on his penis. I feel these incidents must be thrown out on point of perversion from both parties involved.

“Terlet’s Rage 1 and 2”

#1

          There are actually two versions of this very effective and rewarding exercise. The first involves a young Terlet as a waiter in a casual/fine dining restaurant along with a gentleman whom we will call “Phat” and me. Phat or I would walk past Terlet whilst Terlet would be taking an order. When out of sight from the people at the table and behind Terlet, we would pinch his “handlebar” fat and twist as hard as we could and walk away calmly. The hilarity would ensue when he was done with his table and seek one of us out and actually throw punches. The reward for us was so very sweet though because we knew no matter how much discomfort and rage he felt at that instant, he could do nothing but take it like a bitch. We were in total control at that moment. An eruption while taking an order at a table would be a death sentence for him as our owner had the dimensions of an actual bear would not only fire him but beat the shit out of him.

#2

          The other version involves reconnaissance, slight of hand, and a cohort. What Phat and I would do was take an average slice of cucumber, dip it in Ranch dressing, and try to figure out ways to place it in Terlet’s apron from where he would grab pens to take orders at tables. The rage that would be evident on his face when his hands came upon the Ranch dressing was priceless, and makes me giggle like a schoolgirl to this day. There were several wrinkles to our overall plan that we could employ when Terlet would become “spooked.” One would involve the old “slap and run” where one of us would slap Terlet and run and in that instant of rage the other would slip the cucumber into his pocket. This had about a 50% completion rate. Another includes the coaxing into a false sense of security by telling him he was awesome because he jerks off to comic books or has the lead in the school play and while in conversation one of us would slip the cucumber in. This was usually the most dangerous because when he found out we were just amusing him and stroking his ego to get that cucumber where we wanted it, the rage was heightened to the level of The Hulk. Use these techniques at your own risk.

            I try to create a morbid yet free expression driven idea of “fun” while at work. We all spend 1/3 of our lives at work. The least we can do is have a little fun at the others’ expense. If you have any fun work methods/ideas/techniques please feel free to comment of send us an email at popularirony@gmail.com. It has been my pleasure and I hope I made you laugh. I know I did reminiscing about these.

Blowjobs are the best way to display your love for a man, but a disturbing percentage of people don't know how to perform one properly.  Today we will take a moment to cover the basic points that are often overlooked by examining some practice photos from my recent blowjob workshop.  The good news is that you don't even need a partner to practice your form, so feel free to play along at home!

Here we see a classic blowjob form that we are all pretty familiar with.  Surely any man would love to be on the receiving end of this effort, right?  Well not so fast.  I see a couple tips that could bring this blowjob from average to ball-drainingly ferocious!  First, unless you are blowing a really fat dude that can't look down and see you over his gut, you are going to need to shed that disinterested look.  I suggest either looking up longingly for a person you have a close relationship with, or improvising a fearful look of discomfort for your one night stand. And unless you only have one arm there is no excuse why you are not cupping the balls.  A gentle fondle goes a long way, ladies!

Whoa, where do I start with this one?  If you can't see what is going wrong here then you should not be giving blowjobs.  Ever.  While she has perfected the ball fondle tip above, this woman ignores both the eye contact AND makes the whole experience terrifying by leading with the teeth.  You have lips, ladies.  Learn how to use them.  If you ever have problems with tooth/shaft contact when performing then I suggest you practice when eating by curling your lips over your teeth.  It can be messy, but when it comes time to blow your man will appreciate the effort.

You would be surprised to find out how many woman reach an advanced age without ever learning to properly fellate their lover.  I get all kinds of students from later in life that benefit greatly from my advice.  Here we see one such student practicing a technique I call "tip-licking".  Stimulating the glans located on the underside of the penis head is excellent blowjob foreplay, and can be used to compensate for a woman with a strong gag reflex that has trouble with full shaft penetration.

And remember that you are never too young to start your sexual education, provided you don't engage in any actual copulative contact.  This little pro is showing off her ball handling skills, which can be applied in her highschool years to gain massive amounts of popularity within her social life.  She is going to make some teenager really happy one day!

And let's all recognize that it is the 21st century, and blowjob practice isn't just for the ladies anymore!  Here we have one of my many male students that come to me to learn new advanced blowing techniques to be used in a business environment.  With the economy struggling the way it is right now, any serious businessman will jump at the opportunity to get ahead.  For the beginner blower I suggest starting with closed eyes.  This will help you suppress your shame reflex and is sure to improve your overall performance.  And when you are giving a blowjob out of necessity instead of love, the better you give it the quicker it is over!

Now there you have it, folks.  Follow these simple instructions to greatly improve your overall blowjob skills and make that man in your life happy.  Hopefully your confidence level will increase and you can start to realize that blowjobs aren't just for birthdays and anniversaries, but can be an enjoyable activity all year long!

Hamtackle has done it once again.  He has graced the pages of Popular Irony with some very disturbing and brutal photos.  You know that guy who ate that homeless man's face?  Do you want to see the picture of his bloody "No-Face"?  Well then scroll down and look at yesterdays post.  No?!  You don't want to see something so fucking terrible?  Then this post is for you.

Whenever Hamtackle posts something truly disturbing, I like to follow it up with a Palate cleanser.  This time the subject is Romance.

When you see the picture of the romantic couple below, try not to think about self disembowelment.  Go on... Don't think about ripping out your own intestines and hurling them at people.  That's right, don't think about it.  Think about the silky touch of your desired sexual partner.  Don't think about their insides being on the outside.  See... isn't that better?

Now the couple below is sharing a romantic kiss.  Please note that it is only a kiss and not cannibalism.  The woman is not taking large toothy bites out of the man's face.  Not even a nibble.  Just tender smooches.  I promise you that she is not locked onto his lower lip like a rabid bulldog.  She is not preparing to tear away with all her strength ripping the man's lip off like a flabby hunk of greasy meats.  Just love..... Love and tenderness.

Awwww... isn't that sweet?  A couple in a loving, mid-coital embrace.  And they are both alive and intact.  One of the couple isn't a corpse in mid-dissection-rape.  The couple is probably happy and healthy and one of them is not being filmed for torture porn.  Just love.  Love and steamy passion.  Not horror and blood-lust.  See, don't you feel better.  Don't you feel better to know that one of them is not a psychotic gay porn star with a cat crushing fetish?

Well, I don't know about you, but I feel cleansed.  I think I got all of those gore encrusted cobwebs out of my head.  Now all I can think about is stuffing my short and salty inside of some willing and ready lady parts.  Just remember.... No matter how bad the world seems, at least you have not been cannibalized while you were still alive.  Until next time - Smooches!

In the last week there have been four news stories that elude to a possible upcoming zombie outbreak. They have all the hallmarks of classic zombie symptoms, horrific self abuse, murder, and cannibalism. Now we are all used to these kinds of situations occurring in fucked up places like Russia, where the harsh siberian winters lead dozens of people to desperate acts of cannibalism each year, or North Korea where the government withholds food aid from the starving masses, but these stories all happened in NORTH AMERICA. Make no mistake about it, a lot of fucked up shit happens in the developed world, but we rarely see crimes like these. So I ask myself... is this really the beginning of the end, or just a devious plot by the firearms industry to convince me to start stockpiling ammunition? Both Terlet and I are well-armed, responsible gun owners that are reasonably prepared for the possibility of an undead invasion, but I must admit that I feel the need to make a trip to my local arms dealer to spend all my disposable income before it becomes worthless and I have to barricade myself in a WalMart or something. Let's review the evidence:

You're welcome.

I'm sure you have all seen the recent story about the face-eater down in Miami, but I will refresh your memory. A 31 year old man approached a homeless guy near a bridge and savagely attacked him, beating him and then gnawing over 75% of his face off. The attack lasted for over 18 minutes and was partially captured by a surveillance camera. When a police officer drew his weapon on the attacker the man "growled like a wild animal" and continued eating his victim's face. The officer shot the man dead at the scene. No word on whether the victim has risen from the grave as of yet. The police believe the man was under the influence of bath salts, a designer drug that turns people into incoherent babbling madmen, but that sounds like a cover-up to me.

Least intimidating zombie ever.

The phenomenon has even impacted Canada, the most friendly and unnecessarily apologetic country on earth! A 29 year old gay porn actor is on the loose after mailing the body parts of a chinese student to media outlets. The man was apparently under investigation for making films of torturing and killing cats, but quickly upgraded to people. I have seen the film, where the man repeatedly stabs his bound victim with an icepick before dismembering him, buggering his corpse, then cutting flesh off his ass and eating it. I know what you are thinking... "Why the fuck would you watch that shit, Hamtackle?" To that I have only one response: Know thy enemy.

Rare non-caucasian cannibal murderer

And another case recently arose in Baltimore, where a 21 year old kenyan college student admitted to murdering his roommate and eating his heart and brain. This is after the suspect's own brother notified police that he found human remains in the trash at the apartment, which was not entirely unexpected since the suspect was out on bail following his arrest after beating a man with a baseball bat so severely that the victim lost an eye. This guy is currently in police custody, although they still haven't been able to determine a motive for the murder. Maybe the motive was simply... HUNGER!

Marginally effective police-deterrent when thrown

And finally we have an awesome story, albeit a bit lacking in detail at this time. In Hackensack, NJ police responded to a call that stated that a 43 year old man was about to harm himself. When they arrived and confronted the man he responded by viciously stabbing himself in the torso with a 12 inch kitchen knife so severely that his intestines poured out. Now that doesn't sound like it was necessarily zombie-like behavior, right? Well, he then proceeded to tear off chunks of his own intestines AND THROW THEM at the officers. That's right, he literally threw his guts at the police. The man was delivered to the hospital after being apprehended and is currently recovering. Police stated that the man had a history of mental illness. No fucking shit. Or maybe he is just the latest in a clear string of micro zombie outbreaks?

I sure hope so. I would love the complete lack of social and legal rule, and having absolutely no responsibilities except my personal survival would be exhilarating. So who knows, maybe in a few short weeks I will get a chance to meet a few of our faithful readers. I will try not to shoot you unless you are clearly a zombie, but you know... no promises.

Greetings knowledge seekers!  It's me, your old pal Terlet.  Sometimes I tire of writing disturbing fiction, poorly worded diatribes or making shitty videos.  Sometimes I just want to share a bit of myself.  A bit of the real Terlet.  Not my flaccid member, no.  I'd like to share something that truly interests and entertains me.  Today the subject is Podcasts.

I am an avid podcast listener.  Not a day goes by that I don't listen to one.  My current feed contains 42 podcasts, though that number changes constantly.  Over the last seven years I have listened to hundreds of different podcasts.  Most I delete after only a few minutes of listening.  Some charm my pants off and become part of my podcast regimen.  Others grow obscenely stale and end up on the delete pile (Adam Carrola).  With that said, I present to you Terlet's Top 10 Podcasts!

10. Quiet! Panelologists At Work

http://panelologists.com/

The True Antidote to the Average Comic Book Podcast.  My first introduction to podcasts was through Comic Book Podcasts.  I was amazed when my friend Jay Sternitzky (creator of Short Stack: Tales of a Super-Human Plumber, check it out! http://web.mac.com/jsternitzky/paperdreamproductions.com/Home/Home.html ) informed me that there were audio programs dedicated exclusively to comic books and  pretty much any other subject.... FOR FREE!  I am comic nerd, so I gave them a shot.  One of the best of all time is Q!PAW.

Matt and Jon are two English gentlemen who put on an incredibly entertaining show.  While it is a comic book podcast, they never have a serious discussion and are constantly lampooning and mocking the comics they love so much.  There have been few episodes in the last couple of years.  The boys have had kids and big important jobs and rarely have the interest or energy to put on a show.

Even though episodes are now few and far between, this podcast made the list because the classic episodes were some of the best comedy podcasts I have ever listened to. (not just for comic book podcasts).

9.Hollywood Babble-On

http://smodcast.com/channels/hollywood-babble-on/

Kevin smith, writer, director, stoner, has a literal podcast empire.  The man talks more than most teenage girls.  With his S.I.R. Network (SModcast Internet Radio)  he and his friends churn out daily podcasts.  While the many of them are funny, only two of his podcasts made the list.

HBO, as they call it, stars Kevin Smith and Ralph Garman (impressionist for the Kevin and Bean show on K-ROQ-FM, various film roles).  Every week they host a live podcast at the Jon Lovitz Comedy Club in L.A..  This Hollywood and entertainment centered show has many reoccurring segments, lots of fan interaction and tons of Ralph Garman's impressions.  He does a pitch perfect Adam West that is simply divine.  Ralph is a good anchor for Smith.  Without a moderately dominant personality to steer him, Smith will immediately de-evolve into cock slurping sounds with every sentence centering around cum.

Kevin is funny but his fallback is cocksucking cum jokes.  He can be stretched pretty thing between his 300 podcasts.  With Ralph running the show the cock sucking sound effects are accompanied by the voices of of Bill Cosby, Ed Wynn, Al Pacino, Jerry Lewis and dozens of others.

During the first year, the show was in a constant state of evolution, it has unfortunately plateaued in recent months.  The crowd and emails requesting the same bit over and over.  Some weeks can be almost indistinguishable from others.  It is still funny and still worth listening to, but it almost did not make the list because of the recent lack of progress.

8.  The Dana Gould Hour

http://danagould.com/podcasts/

I was recently introduced to The Dana Gould Hour through Dana Gould's guest appearance on the Walking The Room podcast two months ago.  I'm glad I was, it is hilarious.  Dana and a rotating cast of friends, tell great stories, perform quality sketches and present a truly interesting show.  This review is not too long because this podcast is still new to me and it does not have too many episodes.  So far, I like what I hear.  That's about it.  Good shit!

7.  Smodcast

http://smodcast.com/

The Podcast that started it all (as far as S.I.R. is concerned).  Kevin Smith's original podcast with his friend, producer Scott Mosier.  Kevin and Scott have hilarious conversations usually centering around Nazis, sharks, movies and blowjobs.  Most of Kevin's funniest podcast moments occur on this show.  Scott brings out the best in Kevin while bringing his own calm, Canadian, comedy thunder.  Again, it's a lot of blowjob and cum eating jokes.  But very good ones.

6.  Mysterious Universe

http://mysteriousuniverse.org/

This description is from the website (lazy I know.)  "Mysterious Universe covers the strange, extraordinary, weird, and wonderful and everything in between. On these pages you will find the latest news on topics as unorthodox as the UFO Phenomenon, Ghosts and Hauntings, and Cryptozoology, along with the latest in Science, Technology, and Astronomy."

It is a Paranormal podcast.  It is very well researched and produced.  It stars two Australian men.  Ben and Aaron have a great sense of humor and take every story with a grain of salt.  They believe in the paranormal but are not the "I don't know, therefore Aliens!" kind of believers.  They can be very skeptical and explore many different angles to a story.  There is also and extended edition of the weekly podcast that can be downloaded for a monthly fee.  While the regular episodes are free, the extended episodes are $9 a month.  I have never indulged, with so many good, free podcasts out there, I can't bring myself to pay for one.  Even one as high of quality as Mysterious Universe.

I am starting to run out of steam so this list is...TO BE CONTINUED..... very soon..