Recently I have been having a difficult time finding suitably cruel and horrific films to review for this series, but I am delighted that at least I can always count on the japanese to come through. Tonight I watched Shogun's Sadism, also known as The Joy of Torture 2: Oxen-Split Torturing. No matter the title, the cinematic intent is pretty clear. This movie consists of two short stories, the first of which I will discuss here. My hopes are high for a romp through the high grass of offensive asian shock cinema.

The setting is Edo in the Shogun era, when christians were being persecuted and killed in a variety of inventive ways. The film opens with a woman being boiled alive, then another hanged before being sliced in two at the waist by a katana. The plot is almost nonexistent, with a thin storyline involving a forbidden love between a traditional young man named Lori and a christian woman after their chance meeting at a riverside snake bite incident. Then the persecution of the christians is detailed in a few scenes of rape, men being burned inside a cauldron, and a man's foot being battered into pulp by a giant hammer to the point that his bones are neatly pulled from a mass of torn flesh. Classy stuff.

Predictably, the lovestruck boy is torn by his feelings for the young girl after she is discovered and subjected to awful sexual abuse, eventually made into the shogun's personal concubine after a rather crude test of her virginity. First impressions are: There is a disturbing amount of rape in this movie, and in true japanese fashion, the penetration is blurred to prevent any, you know... obscenity from tainting the frequent depictions of forcible sexual violation amid a chorus of female screams. It also seems ambiguous whether the intent of the film is to depict a shameful period of cruelty in japanese history, or just to make a lighthearted casual flick about the "good old days". You can never be sure with japanese cinema.

The troubled young concubine is ultimately made to betray the identities of her fellow christians in a desperate move to stop the torture of her younger sister, whose eyes are burned out with a red hot poker, and she is made to watch them all face the fitting end of being crucified and pierced with a long spear. Then more torture and rape. lather, rinse, repeat.

Eventually Lori becomes disillusioned with his master's horrible ways and is banished after suffering humiliation in the form of having his hair sliced off (shocking, I know), and vows to rescue his love to prevent any further abuse. He is able to intercept her from her captors during transport, granting him a night alone with her. Unfortunately they are discovered in the morning and Lori is unceremoniously cut down in a brief sword fight. But once again we see that men had it much easier than women in those times, as the christian girl is sentenced to die by having her legs torn in opposite directions by an elaborate system of pulleys and oxen. And credits roll on the first short story as we are informed that the shogun is later promoted to minister of religion. How fitting.

My final conclusions are lukewarm here, as I was turned off by the misogynistic imagery and frequent rape scenes. I counted about nine acts of rape and sexual abuse in around 40 minutes, putting it far in the running for most tasteless film yet. The special effects are decent, save the cut aways that spare the viewer from seeing the awkward transition from unmarred human flesh to tattered raw pork shots, but the real disappointment is in the final ox splitting scene. The young girl's lower torso is clearly hidden through a hole in the platform, sloppily masked by white rags as her legs are torn asunder. Not that I was hoping for any real depiction of violence. I mean, only a real sicko would seek THAT stuff out.

There are few things that inspire the creativity of man greater than torture and murder, and civilizations over time have struggled to combat the unending cruelty displayed by it's citizenry with equally terrible resolve, with varying results. The purpose of these acts have as much to do with preventing such offenses as they do with punishing criminals, as evidenced by the public forum that they are most commonly performed in. Tonight I will give a short list of five such punishments that I believe are particularly inventive and effective in spreading fear and horror among the condemned and beyond.

5.) The Five Pains:

Not surprisingly, China has led the way historically in inhumane execution. They are the only civilization represented twice on this list and could easily fill a respectable torture and execution top ten on their own. The five pains method was invented in the Qin Dynasty by Li Si, an advisor to the emperor. It consisted of the severing of the nose, then one hand and one foot, followed by castration and then cutting the victim in two at the waist. Anyone executed by this method would live through the process until the final cut, making it particularly horrible. But justice has a way of finding the cruel no matter how well protected or powerful they are, and ultimately Li Si found himself on the receiving end of his creation in 208 B.C. after being convicted of treason.

4.)The Blood Eagle:

And what list of brutality would be complete without a contribution by the Norse Vikings? Any culture that grants afterlife exclusively to those that died in violent battle is bound to inspire ingenious abuse methods, and the Vikings give us the blood eagle. This execution method was possibly the most labor intensive, require ing the executioner to detach the ribs at the spine then splay them outward, breaking them, then pulling out and flattening the lungs to appear like the bloodstained wings of a demon. And adding salt to the wound, salt was literally added to the wound. Now that's just plain mean. I imagine this must have required some artistic talent in the executioner to perform correctly, proving again that the best work is always done by those that love their job.

3.) The Colombian Necktie:

This is the only execution method on the list that was devised in modern times, and where better than the heart of violent revolution in South America, Colombia? The earliest examples of this method being used trace it to the civil war known as La Violencia, which broke out in 1948. Aptly named, this act consists of the slashing of the victim's throat, after which the executioner would reach into the wound and pull the tongue out, leaving it to dangle between the collar bones like a gentlemanly necktie. Like all torturous techniques, the main objective would be to inspire fear in those that witnessed the act or found the victim's afterward rather than solely just for punishment of the victim. Although rarely practiced anymore, the brutality of the drug trade has accounted for a few occurrences in the last couple of decades. Here's hoping for a comeback.

2.) Lingchi:

Better known as slow slicing, or the death by a thousand cuts, Lingchi was a public execution style that was designed to prolong death and cause as much pain as humanly possible. It is said that medical doctors of the time provided one thousand strips of paper that bore the names of different locations on the body, and the executioner would draw the strips out, one by one, until the victim died. While this sounds about as horrible a punishment as can be imagined, it appears (in true capitalist fashion) that there may have been a loophole for the rich that were condemned to suffer this act. If the family of the victim paid a sufficient bribe to the torturer then the first strip he pulled from the box would be for the throat, and they would be dispatched with the first cut. But that did not mean they escaped entirely, as the body would still suffer through a few dozen additional cuts before the whole thing ended. And similarly to The Five Pains mentioned above, the corpse of the condemned would be buried incomplete, ensuring that the spirit was separated from the body and denying them an afterlife.

1.) Scaphism:

We have representation in this list from the Colombians, the Vikings, and twice from the Chinese, but there is one glaring party yet to attend this bloody party. Well rest assured, the number one spot belongs to the Persians. Scaphism was possibly the most horrible and inventive form of execution and torture ever devised, and is almost unknown in modern times. Known commonly as the boats, the victim was placed in the middle of two small boats, attached like a coffin with holes to allow the head and limbs to protrude, and then sent to the middle of a stagnant pond to bake in the sun. But the real bitch of this method was in the preparation. The victim was force fed copious amounts of milk and honey, then slathered in honey before being sealed inside the boats. This caused rampant and unending nausea and diarrhea and attracted hordes of flies and maggots to breed inside the coffin. Along with being baked alive, the victim was eaten from the inside out, often ending up with insects crawling out of the nose and mouth. From what I understand this is the punishment that we have lined up for Jerry Sandusky.

Well, there you have it folks. My short list of the worst ways to die that have ever been devised on earth. But the truly creative sadists out there should take this as a challenge, and maybe we can push the limits of advancements in death and dismemberment in the 21st century. My money is on the mexican cartels.

Good evening, fellow fiends. I have viewed another completely filthy and disturbing film for your reading pleasure, and this one is quite foul indeed. I watched

A Serbian Film

, the notorious and controversial 2010 flick by first time director Srdan Spasojevic, and it did not disappoint. Do not seek this one out unless you are prepared for sexual torture, rape, pedophilia, necrophilia and murder, because the over the top ending has them in spades.

I was well aware of all the hype surrounding this movie, but I must say that it went farther than even I anticipated. It is best described as being like the Eli Roth

Hostel

series if it were written and directed by The Marquis De Sade, and has been banned in several countries for tow scenes in particular that depict truly disturbing acts. And if you still intend to pursue this film then it is worth mentioning that I will be including spoilers in this review.

The story follows the protagonist Milos, who is a retired porn star who is known for gaining and maintaining a massive erection with very little effort, and is somewhat legendary among male porn stars. He now lives modestly with his wife and young son, but misses the old times and especially the money. One day he is approached by a former female co-star that tells him an unknown artist wants him to star in an unconventional and very secretive film and is willing to pay an obscene amount of money. Milos meets the director and his gang of para-military thugs, and reluctantly agrees to perform on film.

Early on Milos is just required to receive fellatio from a badly beaten woman while video of an underage girl eating a popsicle plays in front of him, and while he is very disturbed, he is assured the woman is just an actress. The next day he is again required to receive fellatio from the same woman, but the young girl is now in the room with him. When he refuses to perform the woman bites his cock and one of the thugs forces him to punch the woman a few times. Oh yes, this all takes place in an abandoned orphanage, as if it weren't creepy enough.

Milos decides to quit, but when he tells the director he is shown a video of an act so horrible that I am not comfortable writing about on this blog. Seriously. It is that fucking bad. If you want to see it go ahead, but you have been warned. At any rate, Milos flees from the director's home but awakens abruptly soon after, and we see he has lost several days of his memory, and is covered in blood.

Milos does some investigation and finds a video record of what has happened to him, where he finds he was unknowingly drugged with a cocktail of substances such as speed, viagra and a strange agricultural-grade aphrodisiac to make him a mindless fucking machine, and he watches himself being unleashed on a woman that is chained to a bed, beating her savagely until his captors hand him a machete, and he proceeds to behead her and frantically fuck her corpse. And if you consider that I am detailing this scene, just imagine how horrible the earlier one is.

Milos also sees that he was raped himself on camera while unconscious, and begins to piece together his memory of what happened over the last few days. He was pressured to have sex with the underage girl from the earlier scenes, but to his credit he held his penis hostage with a filet knife, knowing the director would never want to lose his penis which is the star of the show. After escaping, and still very much affected by the drugs he has been given, he ends up being attacked by a few men on the street when they find him masturbating uncontrollably in an alleyway, but is saved by the director's goons and recaptured.

He is then given further doses of the drugs and let loose on two anonymous bodies, anally raping them like an animal, but when another man joins in the raping he notices that it is his own brother (who has been secretly lusting for Milos' wife), and the two bodies they are raping are his wife and young son, who have both been similarly drugged. Milos and his wife both snap out of their stupor due to the gravity of the situation, and they brutally kill everyone in the room, with Milos literally skull-fucking the lead goon in the eye, killing him.

Once away from the scene Milos, his wife and his child are all so badly scarred by the incident that they have a group hug and accept a fatal suicide gunshot that kills all three. Then the camera pans back and we see that a new director has been recording their deaths, and commands a nearby goon to rape their corpses, starting with "the little one".

So there you have it, folks. A movie that no one will ever see unless they specifically look for it, like I have. I am amazed that anyone was convinced to bankroll the production on this flick, let alone willingly acted in it. This is definitely the most disturbing fictional film I have ever seen, and is a strong favorite for most distasteful film of all time. I fully expect this director to take on the theatrical release of "Three Guys One Hammer" or "The BME Pain Olympics" next time around. I know he would do it justice.

All things considered, this film is well-shot and well-acted, and seems like it enjoyed a healthy budget which is uncharacteristic of foreign shock cinema. I would fully suggest it to any viewer that enjoys having their boundaries tested, and is unwilling to heed my earlier warnings. Enjoy!

For billions of years the earth has been in balance with itself, and has long sustained a constantly evolving biology driven by the variables of reproductive success. The ingenious way this is achieved is through the death or sterilization of the weakest among a given species' ranks. If every monkey but one was able to climb trees, he stood a higher probability of being eaten by predators. If a particular dinosaur was born with an uncontrollable urge to gnaw off it's own genitals then it was much less likely to breed successfully and pass along those undesirable genes. Then came mankind.

We have managed to overcome that natural balance and create a bountiful and lush environment for ourselves to rapidly reproduce. Where it is cold, we make warm homes. Where it is hot we air condition. And when someone is born with their brain and lungs on the outside of their body, we stuff them back in, sew them up, and send them to school to be educated. Not surprisingly this has given rise to some rather unfavorable genes still floating around in our society.

And before you get up on your high horse and accuse me of advocating genocide, I would like to to point out that this problem will have no consequence for humanity in any way. You see, in order for us to degrade our genepool to the point that we are no longer viable and become extinct we would need to survive many thousands and millions of years from now. We all know that we will either destroy the earth's ability to sustain us and we will starve, we will destroy all society and culture in world wars, or both, long before we suffer on evolutionary terms.

Want proof that natural selection is dead? I will provide several examples of modern body modification practices that have their roots in medieval torture, all with glorious pictures you can cringe at. If we are to the point of inflicting these atrocities on ourselves willingly, then we have retained genetic markers that should have long ago been selected out of the genepool.

We start with the most famous torture/execution method in history, crucifixion. You see, this method utilizes nails to suspend someone from a structure and cause their body weight to tear their flesh and leave them to suffer in agony. The modern equivalent is done with stainless steel hooks that pierce the skin, and is quite common among counter-culture groups.

Another torture practice is known as flaying and consists of the removal of the skin, usually in long strips. This is one of the more universally feared torture methods, for obvious reasons. But some body modification enthusiasts still pursue this horrible procedure. Although quite intricate and artistic, the scarification process makes my skin crawl (pun intended).

The act of quartering is basically the forceful removal of the limbs, usually after tying arms and legs to horses and setting them all running in different directions. This is a truly ferocious method of amputation and spells certain death for the accused. The modern equivalent is surgical amputation, from the toes (pictured here) to full limbs.

The final example is particularly brutal, and is known as "the pear of anguish". This contraption is inserted into the vagina or anus and cranked until the device blossoms, causing severe distention in the sensitive tissues and assuring infection. The same concept is applied regularly in the pornography industry, as well as in private sexual practices. It is interesting that this terrifying act has evolved into a pleasurable one, as indicated by her sincere smile.

So there you have it, readers. You have now been enlightened to the evolution of torture and it's implication on the decline of observed natural selection in the human race. There is no need to thank me, but you're welcome anyway.