A Gentleman's Guide To Male Enhancement

When most think of male enhancement they envision overpriced and under-proven pills from infomercials, embarrassing pumps and gadgets, and topical cremes sold in the back of pornographic magazines. But when a true gentleman considers his member he is simply referring to one's nether decorations, just as he wears his monocle and top hat. So tonight we present a brief guide to accessorizing your todger like a respectable man of class.

The simplest option for penile presentation follows the basic tenet of member design, which is "one should treat their penis as one would treat their neck". The obvious choice is between a classy miniature tie with a sophisticated half windsor knot for business occasions, or a neat an level bowtie for social occasions. And before you dismiss the decoration of one's lunch you must consider the following: A true gentleman must always be prepared to present his undercarriage to any unexpected request by a needful lady.

There are some who prefer to add some feminine appeal to their polo mallet, and they may want to try some jewelry. And since the gems will be unseen the majority of the time, try a nice necklace to give her a pleasant surprise. Just remember that although you can do with a small bracelet you don't want to splurge on too much money, as it is in good taste to leave the jewelry in the ward of the lady that has the honor of removing it. Not only will it appeal to her materialistic side, you no doubt will manage future interactions when you return to collect it.

And in the eventuality that you find yourself wooing the fairer sex in a colder clime, one must account for weather if you plan on exposing your little mister to the harsh winds. This is best done by trussing the shaft to keep in the insulating plasma (you should practice it, as a poor trussing is a sign of inexperience), and accent with a miniature stocking cap to ensure proper tip warmth. Any lady would be delighted to find an expertly warmed log for the fire.

But as we all know, some women prefer their men to have an air of danger to them. And they may be left wanting by a gentleman who keeps to the strict code of shaft accessories only, as they are the commonplace decoration she finds after peeling back the cummerbund. Show her that you have a dark side with an edgy alternative piercing. A popular option is to procure a testicular ring, representing not only that you are not fearful of commitment, but you also have a pain threshold befitting a man of the aristocracy. As an added benefit this decoration looks equally at home in a pair of jeans as it does in tuxedo slacks.

So before you attend the next ball or business meeting make sure you are prepared for scrutiny of the highest order. Because if you are anything like me, you want your bottom to be tops!