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Popular Irony

The Blog to rule all Blogs!!  Rescued from the wreckage of the utterly abandoned PopularIrony.com, wiped down, imported and born anew!  Same old filth, new coat of shit!

Posts in "abortion jokes"
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Dear Popular Irony

Dear Popular Irony,

 

I married my husband four years ago, and our relationship has been absolutely wonderful throughout. He has always loved dogs, especially pitbulls, and used to breed them with his family since he was young but never owned any since we began dating because we always lived in small apartments that didn't allow dogs. I always promised him that once we had a home of our own he could get a couple dogs, and last year we finally achieved our dream and bought a lovely house in the suburbs. But that's not the only milestone we reached in our relationship, because I just found out recently that we are having a baby!

 

We are both thrilled about starting a family, but recently my husband started discussing buying a pitbull puppy like nothing has changed. I know I was very supportive of his love for the dogs in the past, but I'm not sure how I feel about them now that I have to worry about the safety of my unborn child! I am afraid to bring it up now since he is very adamant that pitbulls are just as safe and loving as any other breed of dog, and his feelings would be hurt if he found out I am having doubts. Popular Irony, I need help fast!

 

Sincerely,

Troubled In Texas

 

 

 

 

Well, Troubled, this is a very difficult situation to resolve without one of you being unhappy with the outcome. If your husband has been very straightforward about his love for pitbulls and you have been hiding your reservations about them, then it would seem you might be on the losing end of the honesty scale here. But I understand that the safety of your family is far more important than any casual agreement you made with him before you found out you are pregnant.

 

But there is one saving grace in this scenario that you can use to make sure you don't find your relationship in a situation where it is strained to the breaking point. Your baby isn't born yet. Now hear me out... Pitbulls are a lot like other dogs. There are good ones, and bad ones. And much of the pitbull's personality is decided by how it is raised. If your husband buys a pup tomorrow and raises it right, then you will have nothing to worry about when it comes time to have a baby.

 

So buy the dog, and get yourself a secret abortion. If you tell your husband you miscarried (this might take some acting on your part, but you should have no problem managing some well-timed weeping), then he can have his dog, and your relationship will likely strengthen as a result of the "tragedy". Two birds with one stone! I just hope you haven't told your whole family you are expecting, since that would complicate matters. Hope I helped!

 

Love,

Popular Irony