Master Bastard
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Four aging, life-long friends and adversaries fend off the ordinary through the poetry of the profane.  From potty humor to funeral home funnies, the Bastards don't just slaughter the sacred cow, they have sex with it first.  It takes a real Bastard to laugh at another's suffering.  But to laugh at the suffering of your closest friends, it takes something more.  A Master Bastard.

Master Bastard #219 - The Juke

Strap on your pleasure bag, the Bastards are back from their break and boy are the boisterous! Sports, birthday surprises, video games and Facebook fills most the conversation. Take it, rub it, lick it and stuff it. That’s Classtard…

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Master Bastard #218 - Dummy Thicc

The Bastards are handsome, strong, wise and kind. The Bastards represent love and charity. The Bastards don’t require your adoration even though they are deserving of it. Don’t let your unflinching reverence of the Bastards interfere with responsibilities.

Plop Plop.

Who’s there?


Classtard who?

It’s just Classtard. Please let me in I’m about to have a diarrhea!

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Master Bastard #217 - Rapper Talent Tournament 2019 - Part 2

It’s part 2 of the Master Bastard Rapper Talent Tournament 2019! You must be wondering “How can they pick a champion with such a crowded field of rapping talent?” Well we do, get over it. Classtard!

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Master Bastard #216 - Rapper Talent Tournament 2019 - Part I

It’s big, it’s bad and it’s back!! March Madness mean it’s time for talent! Musical talent! It’s time once again for the Master Bastard Rapper Talent Tournament 2019! Open wide for steaming spoonfuls of white men critiquing absurd, popular and/or terrible rap. Viva Classtard!

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Master Bastard #215 - I Think I'm Satisfied

Oh, them Bastards… Donatello Dona-tells us all about guns and ammo. There is a ton of really bad, old music. We consult the stars and review Ramtang’s horoscope. Celebrities are slandered and future movies are discussed. All this and generous amounts of general insensitivity. Classtard.

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Master Bastard #214 - Trucker Babes

Donatello is back with tales of wonder from around the world! There is also sandwich rats, German pizza, video games, Horny For Horner and jingles, jingles galore!

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Master Bastard #213 - Prime Rib Night

The Bastards are back and boy are they blah blah blah. There is stuff and they talk about things. Arguments? Yeah, there is a lot of those. Did somebody request awful radio sounds? No? Oh well. Somebody says something insensitive and somebody else overreacts. I can has Classtard?

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Master Bastard #212 - Reproductive Steam Seat

Baby Love the cherub is back and boy does he have love to spread! This adorable cupid will win your heart with his cute antics and chubby cheeks. But if those don't work, he could always force your affection with his love arrows! Oh, Baby Love... You're my best friend. Happy Classtard!

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Master Bastard #211 - Butt Stuff

The Bastards chat about buckets of upsetting topics. Terrible rappers, terrible rapists, poop games and light suicide discouragement. Don't cry in your classtard!

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Master Bastard #210 - You Are Great

Enter the world of "Willow." Journey to the far corners of your imagination, to a land of myth and magic, where dream and reality live side by side ... to a place that never existed, a time that never was. It is a world where a young man named Willow lives out an adventure that explodes beyond the boundaries of his own hopes and fears. That and Ramtang’s nose job. Classtard!

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