Master Bastard
Classtard
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PODCAST

Four aging, life-long friends and adversaries fend off the ordinary through the poetry of the profane.  From potty humor to funeral home funnies, the Bastards don't just slaughter the sacred cow, they have sex with it first.  It takes a real Bastard to laugh at another's suffering.  But to laugh at the suffering of your closest friends, it takes something more.  A Master Bastard.

Master Bastard #144 - Special Encounters

Jill wants Tim to get a vasectomy since they do not want any more children. Tim shudders to think of the operation. Also, Randy is voted as having the best butt at high school.

 
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Master Bastard #143 - Australiappreciation
 
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Traveling in a fried-out combie
On a hippie trail, head full of zombie
I met a strange lady, she made me nervous
She took me in and gave me breakfast
And she said

Do you come from a land down under?
Where women glow and men plunder?
Can't you hear, can't you hear the thunder?
You better run, you better take cover

Buying bread from a man in Brussels
He was six-foot-four and full of muscles
I said, "do you speak-a my language?"
He just smiled and gave me a vegemite sandwich
And he said

I come from a land down under
Where beer does flow and men chunder
Can't you hear, can't you hear the thunder?
You better run, you better take cover, yeah

Lyin' in a den in Bombay
With a slack jaw, and not much to say
I said to the man, "are you trying to tempt me
Because I come from the land of plenty?"
And he said

Do you come from a land down under? (oh yeah yeah)
Where women glow and men plunder?
Can't you hear, can't you hear the thunder?
You better run, you better take cover

Living in a land down under
Where women glow and men plunder
Can't you hear, can't you hear the thunder?
You better run, you better take cover

Living in a land down under
Where women glow and men plunder
Can't you hear, can't you hear the thunder?
You better run, you better take cover

Living in a land down under
Where women glow and men plunder
Can't you hear, can't you hear the thunder?
You better run, you better take cover

Living in a land down under
Where women glow and men plunder
Can't you hear, can't you hear the thunder?

Down Under - Men at Work

Master Bastard #142 - The Conceptual Penis

The Bastards give Trooper a call on the hotline to settle a burning human flesh dispute.  Lot's of cock talk, peer reviews, magic and mystery!  It's the same old B.S.  Classtard!

 
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Master Bastard #141 - Calamari Foreskin

Hotline calls, when they died, limericks, Yahoo Serious and seven things your poop says about you.  Mouthfuls of Classtard.

 
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Master Bastard #140 - Tight Squeeze

Batman Beware!  Tight Squeeze is here!  Hide your ladies and hide your men!  He's after your body, again and again!

 
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Master Bastard #136 - The Kicky Punchy

ROAD TRIP!!  Join the Bastards on a rambling, poor sound quality road trip to an MMA fight and then join them for an intimate dinner at a noisy BBQ restaurant.  As you can imagine, the background noise is excruciating.  If this is your first time listening, why not try another episode?  Classtard on wheels.

 
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Master Bastard #135 - Lubricious

It's Bastardin' Time!  Bastards, unite and roll out!  You better not lay a finger on my Bastard finger. Donatello joins the Bastards for more fun in the old booze bucket.  Strap it on and Classtard!

 
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