Master Bastard
Classtard

Popular Irony unfinished

On My Recent Decision to Leave the Company…

I did not want to miss this opportunity to explain my recent decision to leave the company and pursue other options.  I have invested a lot of time in this business, and have developed my skills into a future career.  I have many friends here, and up until recently I envisioned a long stay and continued success with the company.
What has changed recently is you.  I did not have to deal with all your bullshit on a daily basis until you were hired here as my manager (for some inexplicable reason).  To date, the interactions between us left me questioning not only your competence, but your basic cognitive skills as well.  I cannot even count the times I have been in the process of explaining some simple business principle and I can see you fading.  You are looking at me, but we both know you are in over your head.  This unspoken acknowledgement of your uselessness has evolved to the point that you cannot even look me in the eye anymore.  Since you avoid my feedback so religiously now, I want to send you this message to your personal email, where I know you will read it over and over in some drunken introspective nightmare (something I am certain occurs for you regularly).
So here’s where it gets personal.  You are a slimy fuck who inspires no loyalty whatsoever as a leader.  When I see you try to exercise your authority I can tell it is all a ruse.  You have no fucking spine and you desperately hope that if you go through the motions then your team will fall in loyal rank and file.  
And you should know this… everyone hates your shitty religious optimism.  It’s clear you are a very good Christian, what with your crucifix necklace and propensity toward excessive breeding.  Now if only you could take some personal accountability instead of relying on “faith” that everything will improve.  Pray as you might, you will always be an asshole.   
And by the way, you should tell your wife to shut the fuck up once in a while when talking with people you work with.  I know that your favorite TV show is Glee, and you were a male cheerleader in college (which was only like 10 fucking years ago, daisy).  Funny… you never mentioned this in personal conversation before.  You would have me believe you are some alpha male with nothing but sports and women on your mind.  I know the truth:  Song, dance, and playing dress up are your bag.
So should you ever be walking in the street and look up to find me standing over you, I suggest you slink back without uttering a word.  This is not a threat of physical violence; it is just that I would not be able to avoid reminding you about how little respect you command, and explain how everything you love in life is a total fucking joke.  That’s right, even your kid.  I saw the pictures and take it from me: He’s fucking hideous.  I suggest setting his face on fire and beating it out with a golf shoe… he needs some manual beauty adjustment.
P.S.-  I hope you die of cholera while trapped in an elevator.
Even Jesus hates you