Master Bastard
Classtard

Popular Irony unfinished

Nice meet you. Me saw you head off.

Hello, me name Slekim Du Nogo, That be Slek to pretty lady out there. Slekim is Huli Warrior in day and headhunter in night. Yes that right.... Huli Warrior. Slekim is from scenic central mountain of Papua New Guinea. Slekim know what you think "But Slek, Huli People not headhunter, What up with that?" Well Slekim is. It fun.

There nothing Slekim love more than to saw off person head and mount person head on wall of Slekim trophy room. Slekim love feel of fresh sharpened hongoia clutched in Slekim hand. Hongoia is bone knife made of cassowary bird. Much better than you boring metal knife. It take much longer to saw off person head. More time mean more fun for Slekim. Slekim love to take Slekim hongoia and with bit of STAB SAW SAW STAB CHOP SAW STAB SAW SAW STAB CHOP SAW TUG SAW TUG SAW TUG SAW POP, off come person head. It just super.

Oh, and cassawary bird is biiiig fuggin bird with razor claw. One time, cassawary bird cut open Phongulu and Phongulu belly meat fall out. We all had fun laugh at stupid Phongulu try put belly meat back in. Phongulu wife laugh too when Slekim tell her. Phongulu stupid and his wife my wife after belly meats no go back in. Stupid Phongulu.

Slekim like new friend. If you want be Slekim friend you need know one thing. One tiny thing about relationship. Slekim will cut you head off and mount you head on wall of Slekim trophy room. If you no mind that, then you be good new Slekim friend.

Slekim enjoy many activitiy. Slekim like trading pig for prestige and more wife. Slekim like to hunt mighty cassowary. Slekim love eat sweet potato. But most of all Slekim enjoy remove and display human head.

Slekim also enjoy play Slekim gãwã. Gãwã is mouth bow, it take long time learn and sound horrible. Slekim love to listen to Aba play the gulupobe. Sometimes Slekim join with Slekim gãwã. We play until sun come up. It all sound horrible.

But Slekim tired of boring home. Slekim want cut off head in other land. Slekim has made decision. Slekim now begin journey away from Papua New Guinea. Slekim now begin "Slekim International Head Hunt". Slekim now get in Slekim tree boat and Slekim ride ocean. Where Slekim land.... Slekim hunt.

You have nice person head. Slekim talk to you soon.